Merry Christmas! Woooooooooooo.

And no, I'm not normally this flippy (as well you know. :>) I'm just luuuuuuurving my new lappytop! Hello World! Say hello to Gabriel (oh-so-swivelly HP TX2510), the latest addition to my male gadget harem -- which includes Alejandro (external hard drive), Santiago (iPod), Santino (work laptop), & Juanchito (usb). :D They're all pretty & shiny & black & MINE! :D

Must. Buy. Pretty pretty lappytop bag for Gabriel and all his (soon-to-be) accoutrements. :D

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...I just need to rant to somebody. (How sad that "somebody" turns out to be my blog.)

I am STRESSED. I am fricking PISSED. I want to PUNCH somebody in the FACE.

...and of course, nobody's there.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...You Dirty, Dirty Liar!

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

People say it would've been so easy to text or call.

No, it wouldn't. And no, it's not.

Because people don't come. And the only time they would actually have come is right after the bloody fact when they only thing they can do is wring their hands and say, "oh, if only I'd come!"

In a parallel branching reality, those same people would be saying, "But it would've been so easy to text or call!"

Really. How would YOU know the gravity of that hesitant text, that tiny little call? No, you won't. You'll only know when it's too late.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...Hello?

...without any ado at all, I'm back. Bow.

And for the life of me, I don't think I can write for shit anymore. XP Sadness. The piercing wit! The dazzling vocabulary repertoire! The legions of adoring fans! Gone. All. Gone. :<

**********

My New Love.


I. WANTS IT!!!!! I. REALLY. DO. WANTS IT!!!!!

**********

...So. How am I, you ask. Of course you care. You should care. How could you not care?

...HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE???

Ooooookay, got a bit neurotic there. :p Hemingway. Moving forward. ...Ick. Ahem. Moving on is what I meant. How am I? I am meandering around in a stagnant little pool of...meandering little things. Think little fishy things with wobbly, gloopy, on-the-whole-looks-rather-sluggish-dunnit bits.

...Obviously, I am having a mental breakdown. Hurrah hurrah. Will make working with the bosses much easier now, I expect.

"Falqi, what's the plan on lahdeedahdeedah? Let's get eksekseks on the blahblahblah and lock it today, let's get eksekseksnumbertwo aligned as well. What are the numbers behind the dududu plans? Have we confirmed this with all the possible people in the world? Let's just quickly check on all the possible data we have right now which is admittedly a lot but since I can order you around do it now & get back to me in 5 mins, there's a love. Oh and while you're at it go and do all this eks-wai-zee number of things which I expect you to do by the end of the week which you should because I have a whole slew of other things I want you to do over the weekend and oh by the way I'm not sure if you know what you're doing but you seem to trundling along just fine so hop along then, there we go, sple-he-he-ndid."

And I go: "duh?"

WUNNNNNDERFUL.


theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...........

...What weekend?? Le sigh.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Sulky.

Le sigh.

I think I wasted this wonderful 4-day vacation. :(

I need someone to hang out with. :(

Someone who actually replies (and preferably replies "yeah!") when I invite.
Someone who doesn't hang out with his/her folks. Horrible.
Someone I actually want to hang out with. :p

...And the intersection of all of these is.....NOBODY. :p

Boo.

I am morose.

And I'll damn well sulk because I damn well want to. :p

So there.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

....Fuck.

...This damn shampoo business is more trouble than it's worth. :p When you look at it, at the end of the day, you're really just selling fucking shampoos anyway. Arrrrrrgh.

*edit*
...tsk tsk tsk. Not being a superstar ABM. :p (I say this in the most sarcastic voice possible.)

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Hello all. :D

Check out the team's OrSem video!:D:D:D

http://ateneoarnis.multiply.com/video/item/4

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay they're the best. :D Grabe, I feel so old and unskilled already. :p Off to atrophy my piddling biceps to nothingness in the corporate world.:p

Can I just say. Work is really something else. :p It (sadly!) requires a tradeoff from physical and intellectual exertion, something that wasn't really all that high in my Ten Most Wanted list in the first place. With the most wonderful fantabulous bonus that intellectual fatigue just plain SUCKS.

Sorry, can I just say that again? INTELLECTUAL FATIGUE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. It has nothing of the endorphin rushes and highs that physical fatigue can offer, that wonderful soaring feeling of LET'S GET IT ON!!!--something that's a bit hard to dredge up when you're pumping up to do Excel sheets and email all day. Booooo.

Earlier today I realized my pain tolerance has plummeted down to the negatives already. Good GOD. I SUCK. :p I act like a girl again in a fight--the old girly cowering instincts are back. :p GodDAMN.

...............

That said, can I just say again: INTELLECTUAL FATIGUE SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. I read in The Battle For God (Karen Armstrong) that some intellectuals, including Newton, have been transported to higher states of mind through sheer...well, thinking, but good GOD. PLEEEEEASE.

...So let's move on.:D (intellectual fatigue suuuuucks) Work is pretty good naman actually, considering. I don't think I regret turning down the Singapore offer (well every now and then lang when I look at my piddling bank account)--still tons of things to do here at home. Question is, do I still have time to do them? ...Of course not!XP But still, we try. :p As is inherent in the human psyche. We try. :p

..................

I so would like to get my hands on a car. Any car. (...well, there's still a threshold, mind.) One of the downfalls of having pobre family and non-Makati boyfriend. :( Booooo. Konting buwan na lang...! I hate having to go home at 10pm every day just because Daddy always leaves me behind (no ohana! :c)--in a taxi, no less! (kasi ayoko na magcommute dahil pagod na ako. Ayoko naman mamatay nang maaga dahil lang sa pagod -- corny. :p) Goodbye munny. :p

ANYWAY. We must take steps to live life. :D Especially now that we are marginally richer than ever before -- yaaaaaaaaaay. :D So many things to do, so little time! (...and so little energy.:p Why, you ask? Because INTELLECTUAL FATIGUE SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. :p)

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...random thoughts while digesting.

Some random thoughts I churned out while waiting for my lunch to go down so I could go to the gym.:D Note, extremely stream of consciousness here.:D

Atheist. Am I an atheist? Do I believe that 'God' exists? ...What is God and how does he/it exist? How can I prove it exists?ö Queer. However, I can't discount the fact of virtually all peoples throughout history believing in...something. Let's not use God, it's too contextually loaded already. Let's say that Divine Reality. Or that Ineffable Reality. Is it a reality? Is existing in people's inds and beliefs enough to make it a reality? Is it like love, hope, justice, abstract things swirling and eddying in people's minds that become 'real' as they are given names, as they are given form by these labels? Is that the existence of God (or Divine Reality, Ineffable Presence, Wonder, Transcendence, etc.)? Is talking of the existence of 'God' outside and independent [sic] (yes, we must always correct grammar.:p this is verbatim.:p) of human beings just silly?ö God is, after all, a human name. A name we humans through countless ages gave to that...wondrous, ineffable, transcendent, immanent reality.

Or is it that we only ascribe to this 'reality' things we do not yet understand, or have not yet conquered with our vast scientific accoutrements and rationality? Sure, not we know why volcanoes erupt, really. But who cannot agree to the feeling of wonder we experience, at one point or another? (comment: or am I a deist then?ö) That barest glimpse of eternal realities, out into infinity and within? Of course it is horribly simplistic to take one look at that 'reality' and say, Ah, how great God's creation is. Really, that kind of God has a loaded definition already. (comment: God as creator? God, do I ramble on.XP)

Where was I? Ah. Albert (comment: This would be the Albert whose YouTube videos give a nicely refreshing atheist POV. I'll put the link when I feel like it.XP) does not believe that supernatural beings like God don't exist. Therefore, atheist. Could 'God,' (again, strip it away of its loaded meanings)--as the name humans ascribe to that other reality--exist outside humans' minds, that is, if it is humans who gave the name--and meaning--to it in the first place? (Think Terry Pratchett's gods, who are given existence through people's beliefs. They exist, don't they, but not as 'objectively' as hardcore people would want...(comment: ...or something.:D you get what I mean, it's 00.30 and I'm too laggy to muddle through my thoughts.:p))

I'm certainly not 'simply' a rationalist. I believe humans are rational, but are above reason. So many of the greatest things we do, of the greatest things we become, stem from some driving force that is far more compelling than, and truly over [and] beyond, reason. Where is it that we draw meaning from? Where do we draw answers for our 'why' questions? Reason is not the sole criterion of truth. Reason can't take you to higher planes of being the way music, art, dance, meditation, being 'in the zone' can. (comment: WELL. I know men of science have reportedly been taken to states of rapture through sheer...science.X> and the use of the faculty of reason.:D oh well.:D) Religion (or spirituality, however you want to call it) is, I believe, integral to people and has always been so. (Again, drop the loaded meanings of religion--Christianity, Church, praying to a god, etc.) here and stick with the generics: spirituality, that which binds together one's life, to 'read' one's life, and so forth. (comment: That which gives meaning, I suppose.))

...Aaaaaand that's it.:D And then it was time for me to go lift some weights in a vain effort to put some meat into the dry little sticks I laughingly call my appendages.XP

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.