FUCK!

FUCK YOU JAJA! TANGINA MOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! ANLAKAS NG LOOB MONG MAGPARAMDAM, TANGINA MO ANDITO KA PALA SA PINAS! IKAW RIN ELAINE! KALA MO NAKALIMUTAN NA KITA???????

Fuck all you people who shirk on your utangs and run away like the fucking monkeys you are and leave us poor people to pay for you fuckers! AAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Fuck you all! GRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! I must have MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! MONEY so I can rule the world and unceremoniously kill all of you off and mount your fucking heads on fucking pikes in front of my fucking stronghold! GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Falqi! Enough with the stupid tests!XP

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing
And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind (You've been known to still have connections with exes)
But sometimes your love is not the most passionate
Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave



..........right...so what's a storge?o_0


theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

HOT.X0

Gahhhh, hot.XP It is abysmally hot. HOT HOT HOT.X0 Dude pare gaaaaaaaaaahd it's HOT.X0 Can I just say.XP

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Wala lang.

Gaaaaaaaaahd. Everyone else's blogs are unupdated, presumably because they have far more interesting things to do.XP Sob. Which leaves me, um, where? I update like every other hour.X0 Gahhhhhhd.

Oooooooooooh nga pala Kevin, seryoso na 'to ha, gym tayo! Yah0w!XD Hahaha. We must always support each other in order to attain our common goals, hurrah.:D

Yahow, summer training tomorruh. At least I'll be able to go out and about again.:D Masisilayan ko na rin ang aking irog after many long years, hurrah.

Whoops, must mosey off to bed. Sleep and all that. You know.:D

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Silicon I Am.

Si... Silicon

Interesting. Take a bunch of really common person-elements and throw them together to get something truely exceptional... that's you. You are probably someone that gave up on trying to understand society at large a long time ago. You don't fear it, but you don't try to be one with it either. You are more or less unperturbed by things... if a problem comes up you might deal with it, or you might avoid it... whatever. You don't take kindly to people pushing you around, and you don't really push anyone else around. You're probably the only one that can tame oxygen simply because you don't understand it's raging neediness, but that doesn't mean that you'll really enjoy having a tame oxygen hanging around all that much either. You can probably get along with people like yourself really well, but you aren't your own soulmate... if only they could make entire colonies of people like you you'd be stoked. Just like you don't understand society, society doesn't understand you... and yes that is my excuse for not knowing how to describe you better.

-------------

righty-h0.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Warning. Lots of "bloody fuck"s ahead.

Bloody fuck. Nakakainiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.XP

Inggy and I were all set to go jogging at school, kasama namin si daddy who was off to get the stupid computer that never actually worked in the first place sa apartment, and he was all, oooooooooh, yeah, I can dismantle this on my own, like what fucking rot, so anyway balak namin ni Inggy magjogging while he fiddled away and whatever, and holy fucking crap my heart was like all set to go jogging na and shit because I've been absolutely stagnant here in this FUCKING STAGNANT house for the past...I don't know...three days?? (I swear, this hole sucks you in and warps all sense of time.XP) So anyway, turns out we had to help daddy do his precious dismantling (kaya mag-isa, HA) and then when we were all set in the car I went like, o daddy, punta na tayong school! And he went, o para san? And I was like, where the hell has he been?? Duuude, didn't you get my message kanina pa sa house?? Didn't you get the jogging outfits we're wearing like right bloody now?? And then he just vroomed the car away and said, bukas na lang kayo magjogging, gising nang maaga tas sa Fort Boni. Like HELL that's ever going to come true. I can bet my bloody fucking LIFE we're not going bloody fucking ANYWHERE tomorrow. I'm bloody fucking ROTTING HERE. Look at the little sod, now comfortably plunked in front of the telly. Tas mamaya-maya it's straight off zoooooooom to bed, FUCK. Like all he ever does around the house is fucking SLEEP.XP

It doesn't need a great deal of imagination to try to imagine where I get my slothful, utterly unproductive and stagnating genes which I try OH SO HARD to combat...*sob*...I do, I do...but sometimes you just don't have the fucking MONEY and FREEDOM to GET BLOODY FUCKING AWAY...X0

O, it's Easter. Summer vacation. All that crap. And I BET YOU this household is going to die of fucking stagnation and is going to end up food for the roaches. Bloody FUCK.XP Thank GOD there's school. I've never been so grateful for school in my entire LIFE. GAAAAAAAAHHHHDDD. I absolutely HATE any and all sorts of vacation which entail me to park my butt HERE in the HOUSE. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHD.

I HATE THIS BLOODY FUCKING HOUSE!X0

Grrrraaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr.

...I wonder if it's that time of the month already kaya ako nagkakaganito. Hmmmm. But no, it's too early.

SHIT. Now what am I supposed to do here sa house???XP Jump rope maybe. Run up and down the bloody fucking stairs maybe. And create a great big fucking ruckus that maybe, just maybe will get these fucking slobs off their fucking fatasses.

..and hey, I warned you.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Shit! Shit! GC!

Gaaaaaaaaaaah.X0 Awful bout of GC-ness about to come...X0

I need to maintain a B+ average for the rest of my college life so I can graduate cum laude. Waaaaaaah. That sucks.X0

Wala akong magawa. Obviously.XP Must go out now and...err...jog or something.:D

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Another test!:D

You scored 58.3%
Artemis

If you are ruled by Artemis, your independent spirit belongs to no one but yourself. Your body is vibrant, your attitude robust and your manner vigorous and alive. You are driven by physical rather than mental energy. You feel complete without a man in your life and would never compromise your essential nature for a romantic partner. You are skilled at establishing personal boundaries and enter into relationships on your own terms -- in short, you can take care of yourself. This attitude may at times put men off.

You scored 25%
Aphrodite

If you are ruled mostly by Aphrodite, your femininity and passionate spirit are the controlling forces in your life. You tend to be charismatic and self-assured, comfortable with your body and unrestrained sexually. Men are drawn to you like bees to flowers, which satisfies your erotic nature. However, you tend not to form permanent attachments with lovers because you value your sexual freedom, which may leave you feeling lonely and even depleted once a relationship ends.

You scored 8.3%
Hera

If you possess many of Hera's qualities, you tend to find fulfillment in relationships and look on marriage as a permanent union. In marriage, you feel no sense of frustration or resentment, because you are an equal partner with your spouse. You are confident and have no trouble asserting your authority in and out of the relationship. You seek men who are self-confident and successful, because you are comfortable with the concept that you can be fulfilled through him (and him through you). As long as your partner honors the marriage as much as you do and appreciates you, you will be happy. If he doesn't, you must concentrate on your own growth and discover an identity independent of him.

You scored 8.3%
Persephone

If you exemplify the qualities of Persephone, you have most likely experienced great loss in your life -- the loss of your health or your emotional or physical security, the betrayal of a friend or lover, the loss of a child, your own divorce or that of your parents. This experience has forced you to face the dark, unenlightened side of yourself (the side that blames other people or circumstances for your own suffering) and transform yourself into a stronger, more independent, more accepting and more loving person. It may have also led you down a spiritual path, and moved you to place great emphasis on inner calm and on close connections with friends. You are capable of embracing, integrating and accepting difficult experiences. Because of that skill, you offer others the gift of empathy -- you know where people are or have been.

------------

...o_0 Hera. Right. Marriage???XP EEWIES.XP Grabedad, and I got zero for Athena!XP Like what's up with THAT?XP Got zero for Demeter and Hestia too. Dapat lang, like hello, nurturing, caregiving, motherly types? Eew.XP But Athena! Waaah.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Another Test!:D

YOUR RELATIONSHIP STYLE

The first step in discovering your best match is getting a clear picture of your own relationship style. Good or bad, your experiences with your parents -- in childhood and adulthood -- play a key role in establishing your relationship style and the kind of person who you're best suited for now. Based on your experiences, you will probably fall naturally into one of three categories:

? Isolator: If you are an Isolator, you need a lot of personal space. Isolators minimize emotion, are often guarded and unconsciously push people away, keeping them at a distance.

? Fuser: If you are a Fuser, you have an insatiable appetite for closeness and don't like being alone. Fusers crave attention and are sometimes described as clingy.

? Ambivalent: If you are an Ambivalent, you are a little bit of both. Ambivalents like to pull away, yet they want to feel close at the same time. They can also be confusing and hard to read.

YOUR FREE personalized introductory results, based on your test responses:

YOU ARE AN AMBIVALENT

YOUR CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

Your childhood experiences show that you are an Ambivalent. As a child, you probably received plenty of love and affection from your parents but were also allowed to form your own sense of independence. Your parents may have upset you and let you down at times, but your childhood needs were essentially met. Therefore, as an adult, you have traits that are common in both Isolators and Fusers, two polar opposites. This means that your relationship style includes many interesting contradictions. You've been known to both push people away and expect them to dote on you at the same time. Freedom is just as appealing to you as being showered with affection.

YOUR PERFECT PARTNER

As an Ambivalent, you're uniquely qualified to have a successful relationship with a partner from either category: Fusers or Isolators.In your case, "happily ever after" depends on which role you find yourself adopting more often. If you're usually the outgoing one in the relationship, often seeking affection and attention, you're more of a Fuser. This means that your perfect partner is actually your opposite type, an Isolator. You may have guessed just the contrary, that your best match would be someone who would shower you with all the love and affection you crave. But happiness for you means partnering with someone who will respect your privacy and support you when you want to do independent activities, much like your parents did.If you're often a private person who likes her space, you're more of an Isolator. This means that your perfect partner is actually your opposite type, a Fuser. Contrary to what you might have thought, your best match is not someone who gives you all the space and freedom you crave. Instead, your best bet for long-term happiness is partnering with someone who dotes on you, someone who shows his affection and expresses his emotions easily and often, just as your parents did.

---------

Hahaha. Too, too true.XD Oooooh, I looooooooove tests.XD

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Zoids! Zoids! and Zoids!:D

Gahhhh. I really do have too much time on my hands. Shit, I hate it here sa house, it has this horrible ability to make me feel like I'm stuck fast in the sinkhole of eternal gloom and doom.XP I swear. I can feel me stagnating already.XP My family is the most stagnant family of all.X0 Gahhhh.

Since I have way too much time on my hands, ayan tuloy, I ogled at and drooled over the Zoids at the website Jego gave me. (I blame you! You! You!XP wahahaha.) I now have a more concrete list of oodley prettyful Zoids that I shall acquire once the Central Bank lays off lollygagging around and finally gets around printing my millions.XP

(in no particular order other than the order in which i put 'em...hahaha labo.XD)
1. Ultrasaurus
2. Shadowfox
3. Madthunder
4. Saberlion
5. Liger Zero Phoenix
6. Rayse Tiger
7. Molga (actually, I had one dati. But someone ruined it.XP Hmmm, come to think of it, that someone ruined my Shield Liger too. Bloody little gremlin.XP)
8. Death Saurer
9. Sinker
10. Lightning Saix
11. Death Stinger
12. Liger Zero X
13. Seismosaurus
14. Energy Liger

Hahaha. I'm such a kid.XD (in so many ways, yes.:D)

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Gahhhhhh. Too much time on my hands.

Hay. Just been from contemplating on my life.XP Gahh. Where would you like to go? (A farm!:D humwahahaha. si ingga lang makakagets.XP) Sure, I'm in ME and everything, but really, one needs kapalness of the face and sheer guts to elbow her way into the rat race.XP I don't like rat races!X0 Why can't we all just be peaceful and harmonious and friendly with all mankind??XP Waaaaaah. I'm not competitive at all. (no, really.) I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I don't want to elevate myself at the expense of others, which is what people inevitably need to do in order to get up there (quit being idealistic about it, duh). Waaaaaaaaah. Why can't I just build a nice peaceful home up in the cool green mountains (ok fine, right beside the beach para naman masaya yung isang tao jan, wahaha) where I can paint (digitally, I mean, because I suck at the real thing, waharhar) and ogle at the sky and maybe make like the Shaolin monks for a bit then afterwards cruise the world on my private jet (okay, this is where I get carried away. Stop now, Izzy.XP) blah dee blah...

Gahhhhhhhh. Where am I going??XP Waaaaaaaaaah. I don't know. I don't have concrete goals about business and work and money-making et cetera.XP All I have is this vague notion of being filthy rich so I can maybe finance the preservation and propagation of arnis in the country (whooo like maybe build a huge complex like the one we saw in Chungju for Taekgyon, it was all big and vast and green and fieldy and meadowy and had cool big lawns and bridges and humongous steps and ooooooooh, that was UBER COOL!:o and then it'd be free so anyone can join, but hooooooo how the hell are we supposed to maintain THAT on the goodwill of the people??o_0 ooooooooh then maybe we could make arnis into a National Treasure just like Taekgyon....hmmm, dooooooode, does the Philippines even have National Treasures??o_0 If they do, errr the citizens don't know about it. Or maybe it's just me.XP I don't know anything.XP oh, crud.)

Sooooooo, like I was saying, what am I to do with all this kerfuffle called work?XP I haven't the faintest idea.XP gahhhh.

Hmmmmmmmmmm. Methinks I shall just sit down and read today.XP No use going out as it's Good Friday, and everything everywhere is closed, gahhhh. I swear, NO CONSIDERATION whatsoever for us religionless agnostics.XP Hasn't it crossed their Catholic minds that maybe us religionless agnostics would, I dunno, want to go wall-climbing maybe?? Or maybe watch a movie or something??XP Hmmm. I could go jogging out in Fort Boni, that's totally free, but then I'd have to learn how to drive pronto, because nobody wants to share how to commute there, the selfish little turds.XP Why does doing anything nowadays entail the use of the very thing which I do not posess at the moment, moolah??XP Gaaaaaaaaaaahddemit.XP

BORED. BORED. Utterly BORED. BORED. BORED.

See? How the heck am I to survive eight-hours-a-day-five-days-a-week boring office life??XP gahhhhh. Die. Die. Die.XP Unless we have bunjee-jumping-on-weekends bonuses, which I don't think any firm has. Yet.XP

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Summer things!:D

Wala lang, naisipan ko lang na ako'y gagawa ng listahan ng mga bagay na nais kong makamtan ngayong summer...o kahit in the distant future pa...XP

1. Zoids!:D lalo na yung pinakamalalaki!:D (what, aangal ka??XP I luuuuurv Zoids.XD)
(side note: lookit, my very first Zoid!:D well, this isn't exactly my Zoid, as I ripped it offa http://www.pheno.zoids.org.uk/, but still, *sniffle* tear...isn't it just the pretties thing you've ever seen???X0)

2. a pwetty 1,000-piece puzzle...fine, kahit 500-piece lang...XP
3. bagong damit!:D (yes, lumang luma na 'to.XP hanggang ngayon 'di ko pa rin nafufulfill, huhuhu.)
4. a brand-new Wacom tablet!:D for all my artsy pleasures.XD
(pucha, I have a wonderful zit on my upper lip. how fun is that.XP)
5. new PS2 games!:D wahoo, it is summertime!:D
6. new summery outfits!:D (yes, I said na new clothes, but now I get more specific, right?XP) nice white ultra-light things that flutter in the wind.:D (and nice colorful bras to go underneath.:D) nice summery skirts and dresses too, but first I have to achieve my dream legs first, which look like they still have a ways to go, blechXP
7. new corporate outfits!:D what?? I am a JGSOM student!:D might as well mosey with the flow. or power walk, as the case may be.:D

and to achieve all this, I must first fatten up my poorly-kept bank account by going to Central Bank and demanding they print me my very own first million.:D (of course that'll lead to inflation, but who cares.XP)

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Food list! Ako na rin!XP

Darnit, everybody's listing na their favorite foods. Hellooooo, summer na, dapat nang tumino sa ating pagkain!XP Paano na ang ating goals in life??XP Ooooh, which are, by the way, namely:

For Mwah and Yanyan: magpalaki!
For Kare and Kevin: magpapayat!
For all of us: maging respetableng estudyante ng JGSOM every Friday sa summer!:D (ergo, new wardrobe. sige na naman plis.XP)

BUT ANYWAY. On to the food!:D

1. Coffee! Coffee! Anything that's sweet and has coffee in it!:D (a little dash of creme liqueur wouldn't hurt either.:D) SHIT, I am a COFFEE ADDICT!XP O, at least aminado ako.XP
2. GreenTea Ice Cream sa Kaya, DAMN I can never forget THAT....X0
3. yung bagong ice cream ng Magnolia, Golden Label Double Dutch! Waaaaaaaw...X0
4. Lindt....:c anything Lindt...
5. Peppermint chocolate!XD
6. Moroccan Mint...:c
7. ...or anything from Coffee Bean!X0
8. Caramel Coffee Jelly!
9. let's not forget my all-time favorite, Bailey's Irish Creme...:c
10. strawberries...with maybe chocolate fondue...X0

Waaaaaaaaaaah, I shall cease and desist before I kill myself.X0 'Di naman medyo puro kape/tsokolate/liqueur/malamig ang gusto ko diba??XP And to think my throat's been aching something fierce for the past week, gaaaaaaaah.XP If I'm going to be sick can we just please get it over and done with???XP

-------------

Finally fulfilled one New Year's Resolution that has been stagnating for the past twenty-odd years...Thank you, my dear.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Trauma. And then Some.

The carnage was terrible. Dust settled thickly upon dismembered and disemboweled bodies, rapidly burying their meager lives from the fickle memory of earth.

UGH. If only they weren't bloody fucking COCKROACHES!X0 UGH! The HORROR!X0

We went to Ultra kasi upang, ehem, sumabak sa Yungib ng Karimlan at Pighati upang subuking punuin ito ng nakahihilom na liwanag.:D We made progress, yes, yes.:D BUT there was still this whole stretch of endless dooooooom that awaits our further hand of light.:D In fairness, masaya sumira ng isang yungib upang ito'y muling itaguyod nang maaliwalas.

BUT THOSE BLOODY FUCKING COCKROACHES!!!X0

UGH and UGH and double UGH!!!X0

I swear it took each and every one of my nerves of steel to stop myself from running away screaming in horror.X0 I managed to remain relatively cool and calm though (as cool and calm as you can get when the mere thought of the little buggers makes you want to, like I said, run away screaming in horror), despite the fact that I never mustered enough gumption to actually SMACK them to the EARTH with the underside of my rubber shoes, UGH. Fuckity fuckity fuck. What HORROR.X0

Have you lot watched Lion King? Remember the part where Timon lifted a rotten piece of log and ALL those HORRID BUGS came crawling out at lightning speed in ALL DIRECTIONS???X0 Now replace Nice Green Jungle of Joy with Yungib ng Karimlan at Pighati and nice colorful bugs into (for the nth time) BLOODY FUCKING COCKROACHES!!X0 Waaaaaaaaaah.

You know, there was actually a time when I was positively fearless in the face of creepy crawly doom, tipong nung high school 'pag may nag-appear na ipis sa classroom and all my classmates were like screaming and shit and jumping onto their chairs and oh, did I screaming?, I was the one who remained sitting, would scrunch up my face and go, "huh? What's all your problem?" and go over to the cockroach and squish it good-bye. (there's awful grammar here somewhere, but who cares.)

BUT.

The day of reckoning came.X0 One day I came face to face with a cockroach, as in literally. I was chasing one kasi all along the tables here at the house, and then it stopped suddenly, the horrible little bugger, right on top my study table, to peer at me with its insecty eyes and abhorrent feelers.X0 And I peered right back at it, and I SAW IT for the first time.X0 As in face to face. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH. It was HORRIBLE. All brown and shiny and segmented and insecty and uuuuuuugghhhhhhhh. That was the most TRAUMATIZING EXPERIENCE of my LIFE.X0

From that day on, the cockroach haunted my nocturnal and diurnal lives! (ooooh vocabulary.:D nagamit ko na rin!:D)

Fucky fucky fuck.X0 Que horror.

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

...Pumpkin Pie.o_0

Go to my sister's blog and see how stunningly pretty I am.XD Harharhar, jawk.XD Saya ng grad niya, yet another opportunity for our loving family to have a loving outing with one another. (Read: pwede nang mag-Armageddon sa init ng ulo ng mga hayop.XP Luckily I am always distant and aloof and I feel absolutely nothing at all.XP Some call it motivated forgetting, some call it repression, I just call it plain old Prozac.)

Your Scent is Pumpkin Pie
Warm, comforting, and a bit old fashioned

You've got what men want - believe it or not!

What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


Errrrr. Pumpkin pie. What kind of scent is that?? Do people actually wear that kind of scent?o_0 Unless they wanted to get eaten by a mob driven mad by horrible twisting pains of hunger...XP

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Wall-climbing...and other stuff.XP

Whew. Absolutely LOOOOOOOOONG day.XP on two hours of sleep, no less.XP But it was fun--well, some of it anyway.XP Most of the day was spent preparing for and actually holding Athletes' Night, blah dee blah. Bore.XP

But we went wall-climbing!:D Hurrah!:D Best part of my day, that and engaging in duels-to-the-death at Ziggy's.:D Ooooooooooh after many long years, I have finally climbed a wall again!:D (at walang pilosopo ha, medyo lang.XP) But...I still so wanted to go rappelling...:c There's something infintisimally heart-stopping (literally, man) about falling down blah dee blah feet when you're FRICKIN' scared of heights like me.:D Kanina kaya on my last climb, there was a point when it finally caught up with me (during the previous climbs I was all adrenalin and hyped and shit, 'di ko pa naproprocess yung HEIGHT.o_0 e there was a point when I had to climb sa part where there were two walls at a 90 degree angle, so medyo lang kitang kita ko na yung baba 'di ba??XP) and I went, like, whoa. So I sort of froze somewhere in midclimb.:D And went down immediately.:D

But I still wanna go rappelling, whoooo!:D I'm a sucker for self-imposed torture.:D

--------

I have a super-dee-duper flaw na hanggang ngayon 'di ko pa nacocorrect, hahaha...I tend to be super irresponsible with things I don't much give a whit about.:D I swear I have no sense of responsibility whatsoever.:D (ooooh, so dad was right.:D) Kaya I haven't the faintest idea why I stuff myself in positions that I don't really like (the crowd for one is sometimes completely insufferable, blech) when I know I won't perform naman.XP Well, if I only stick to those commitments I have real loyalties too, they'd be pretty few. AS IN.XP And we're going pa naman for wide-ranging experience here (not to mention those dismal fucking resumes. Blech.XP). Gahhhhhhhh. I'd better grow some responsibility or something vaguely like it soon.XP Gahhhhhhh. I'm so pasaway, I swear.XP Hmmm. Sometimes I really wonder kung bakit ako nag-Ateneo at 'di nag-UP.XP (pareho namang scholar, HAHAHAHA YABANG.XD) Sobrang minsan the people here in Ateneo are completely insufferable. Well, some of them are.XP Buti na lang the people in my vicinity are super down-to-earth and nice. But some of them, ugh, bring to life the haughty, shallow, conyo little cockasses who tramp around school. (uy, I may be haughty sometimes, but only in jest!XP and i'm not little.:D) I swear I can't stomach any more than a day with them or I'll puke all my innards out.XP Grrrar.X0

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

The Powerpuff Girls and Dexter! I love Dexter!:D

The Powerpuff Girls!

Good grief, can you lot believe I'm wide awake at 3:15 AM because of this??:D Such uberloads of fun!:D If you watch Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon and adoooore comics that are just rife with subtle hints of the old school, then be addicted as well!:D

I swear, Dexter is soooooooooooooo ADORABLE!XD As in! Waaaaaaaaaah crush ko na siya!XD It must be the curly fluffy hair and the poker face, I swear. Reminds me mightily of someone, oooh can't remember who for the life of me.:D (um, that's what's called verbal irony slash sarcasm, see, because I known perfectly well who he reminds me of.:D)

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Unrealized. Waaaaaaah.

Waaaaaaah, gorged on blueberry cheesescake and gloriously heavenly Magnolia's Double Dutch.XD Waaaaaaaaaah. I want to get more. Waaaaaaaaaah. I'm turning into a tub of lard.X0 BUT NO, I shall be fit as a fiddle this summer. Waaaaaaaaaaah.

I wanna buy new stuff. Waaaaaaaaah. I waded through my old entries (back in LJ), as in waaaaaaay back to the annals of time into the days of my past New Years, where I made fabulously unrealized Resolutions (such as never drink coffee or alcohol again) which included a nice right list of things I wanted to buy, and wouldn't you know it, I still haven't bought 'em!X0 That's poor for you. Blech.XP I had this super long list of books I so wanted to buy, but waaaaaaaaah, all of them jump way, waaaaaaay clear of the Php300/400 demarcation. Waaaaaaaah.

Summer. Summer. Summer. I had BETTER do something fruitful this summer.XP

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

I want adventure in the great, wide...somewhere!

Which Disney Princess are you?

oooh, no surprises there. I absolutely adoooooooooore Belle.:D She is absolutely adoooooorable.:D I can even quote her right off the top of my head:

I want adventure in the great, wide...somewhere
I want it more than I can tell
And for once, it would be grand
To have someone understand
I want SO much more than they've got planned...

You don't know HOW much I identify wth Belle. Adventure! Adventure! Adventure! In the great, wide...somewhere!X0 Not this plain old life!

theHERETICisIN.
o come, all ye faithful.

Pompous Wind.

Hay. Life.XP My family is absolutely CONSTIPATED.XP Gusto ko na bumalik sa bahay (i.e. apartment). Waaaah. I swear sometimes I seriously consider sitting them down and dragging out a long, draining, enlightening chat, but I never seem to muster up the energy. Gahhh. I doubt it'll get through their thick skulls though. As of now my parents think

1) wala akong muwang sa mundo (which is true but not THAT true, come on, I know plenty others who haven't even been outside their houses/school yet!XP Blech.

2) ako ay pakawalang-bata na 'di iniintindi ang pag-aaral (kaya magsisipaghuramintado nanaman 'pag nadatnan ang C/C+ ko sa Accounting, like THAT wasn't super normal.XP (pleeeeeeeeease sana C+ man lang!X0)

3) wala akong sense of responsibility etc at wala akong patutunguhan sa buhay

4) isa akong lakwatsera na imbes na nagpupuyat gabi-gabi para sa hinayupak na school (GRABE, 'di ko ginawa to! exag!XP) ay naglalamyerda lang ako kung san-san

5) wala akong morals dahil wala akong diyos (hellooooo) at madali akong massway ng mga dark forces (XP)

6) hindi ako gragraduate dahil siguro malululon ako sa droga o mabubuntis o kung ano man

7) inuusyoso ni inay kay ingga kung may boyfriend na daw ako. ISIPIN NIYO YUN??XP ako?? haller?? (to borrow from kapatid, wahaha) .....aba, MERON NGA!XD ('di naman alam ni mummy tong blog kong to e. HARHARHAR) mwah, my dear!:D

...in short, I am a dismal failure and a pathetic excuse for a daughter.XP Gahhh. Like they weren't losers in the first place na nagbabaling lang ng mga frustrations nila sa akin. Humpf.XP Why don't they live their own lives and pursue their own dreams instead of heaping them all on their poor children na ngayon ay nabrainwash na dapat maging CEO because any other occupation is hopelessly pathetic and will only signal your utter failure as a human being. (kasi si daddy hindi CEO e.XP) Humpf. Talk about walang pinatutunguhan sa buhay.XP Their fervent little speeches (which wear and tear along the edges after a bit, mind, you shouldn't blather the same speech every goddamn time because it begins to lose its bite, like super old pepper) would've actually made at least some oomph if they had actually done something with their lives, harrumpf. But no, they're all stuffed full of pompous wind to make up for the vast empty spaces of their unfulfilled lives. Bleah. Whatever.

I now know what a Jabberwocky is!:D Vaguely, yes, a little fuzzy, quite, and I need considerable license to make a reasonably accurate figure, but still, I know!:D

More quizzes! More quizzes!:D

Men See You As Choosy
Men notice you light years before you notice them
You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky
You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter
It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


duuuuuuude. like, what's new?XP ooooooooh quizzes are so fun.XD

Dark Chocolate!:D

You are Dark Chocolate
You live your life with intensity, always going full force.
You push yourself (and others) to the limit... you want more than you can handle.
An extreme person, you challenge and inspire the world!

What Kind of Chocolate Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.


why, I am dark chocolate.:D how luuuuurvly. What would be even more lovelier, mind, is me actually eating dark chocolate.XP

Darn it, I think I'm getting fat. And squishy.XP

Gahhh.

Your Inner Muse is Urania You are most like this muse of astronomy. Your head is in the stars, and you look to the future. You give off a heavenly, mysterious vibe. And you're not too bad at predicting the future. What Muse Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

uy, gaya-gaya daw ako kay erica.:D

ako ay praning.XP for some strange, screwy reason I just want to bitch around.XP Bitch bitch beeeeeeeeeets.XP Waaaaaaaah.

A na ako sa Fil!:D Hurrah.

Ako ay namatay sa SA. More accurately, ang aking kamay ay maaari nang ilibing. O ipang-isaw.XP If you're into that sort of sick, sadist thing.XP You never know.o_0

Gahhhhhhh. It's not a sin to hang up the ole' smiley face every now and then, right?XP

Lugmok sa Pighati.:(

waaaaaaah. just received the worst news of all time from Kevin...X0 Isa lang ang naka-B sa LT3 sa Accounting!X0 at malabong ako 'yun, medyo lang.X0 Waaaaaaaaah........X0

My HOPES and DREAMS! Dashed! Torn asunder! Ripped from their mother's wombs, the still-born babes! Gaaaaaaaah.X0 Words cannot express the anguish that I feel.Xo

San na lang ako pupulutin, I ask you???X0

QPI, QPI...'Pag ako nagka-D sa accounting magpapatiwakal na ako. Waaaaaaah.X0

Satanism. Ahh.

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

for the record, I call myself Agnostic.XP Well, for the lack of a better word anyway.o_0 But apparently, I am a Satanist. Kewlie-ewlies.:D

Double whammy: GCness and coffee!X0

I have finally succumbed to the horrors of GC-ness.X0 Oh, I am sorry! I am terribly sorry!X0 I have FAILED!XP

NEVERTHELESS, I now have a lovely Excel file depicting my grades in oh-so-OC tables.:D Oooooh, I have a running chance of graduating cum laude, HURRAH!:D All I have to do is maintain my QPI above 3.50, and there I go.XD

Oooooh, birthday ni kapatid, which reminds me, 1st year anniversary of my hospitalization affair!XD Asusme, can you believe that was already a year ago?? I can’t, and since I’m so egocentric, my opinion is the only one that matters.:D MyGAD, the more you age the more time flies…X0 And, as usual, I still haven’t done anything significant with my life….waaaah….X0 oh, utter sadness. What’s this, I’m already in Erikson’s Generativity VS Stagnation Stage of Psychosocial Development??:o Why, I didn’t think I was even past Intimacy VS Isolation.:o Lookit, innaresting.:D

Gahhh, COFFEE HEADACHE.X0 I don’t know why I still continue making laklak the stuff when it gives me oooooh terrible migraines and a huffy heart.XD WELL, apparently the pain works.XP Pain in pleasure, pleasure in pain…at least the pleasure has a price.:D

So this IS really my blog.:D

Duuuuuude. So this is, like, really my real as in kaduper-real blog na.:D Wahoo, sige sige, after finals and everything I'll put in a spiffy-roo new layout (and yessss, I know I have an awful habit of not making any new layouts at ALL, but still, it's the summer vacation!:D that has to be a point in favor of me, right??:D

FINALS WEEK!

OMFG, after many long YEARS of utter SLEEPLESSNESS I shall finally be able to BREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATHE with relative EASE.XD Oh, joy.XD Nothing to do for this week (well, except studying maybe) but loaf around in the quiet little apartment, hurrah. Such wonderful freedom.XD

Oooooooooh, it is March 14. Happy Birthday Kapatid!:D Well, nagreet na naman kita kagabi, AT ako unang-una as in pagpatak ng 00:00, humwahahaha.:D

Did you lot know that my random number for summer reg is 13??? Hahaha, innit funny??XD

WELL. I suppose this entry shall suffice for the moment.:D Can't really think of anything significant to blog about, anyway.:D

Welcome, one and all!

Hello, all ye underlings who wish to set eyes upon my fantabulous blog!:D

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Falqi the Great (never forget "the Great," please) and...and...well, I am GREAT.:D

This is a blog.:D A blog for psych.:D A lovely lovely blog.:D Although it's raether fuzzy and magulo and weird. Well, that's why it's called a convoluted stream of consciousness, see.:D

Most of the entries in this blog are ripped off from my real blog, because I do a lot of introspection when blogging, see, and it makes it oh-so-convenient for this particular project.:D Be sure to note the side bar.:D

Happy reading, all!:D

Now let's go to our adolescent years, shall we?

Crud, I lost this entry again.XP I swear I'm gonna KILL blogger.XP Useless.

ANYWAY. What significant memories do I have of my grade school/early high school life that made an impact on my overall personality?:o

WELL. I had a barkada in grade school. As in we were super close, and I was super open to them (as in completely) and yeah, effectively made myself vulnerable to them. (oh, you know where this is going, don't you?XP)

First year high school came, and voila! ...Iniwan nila ako. Huhuhu. (Yak, I'm not gonna CRY or anything cruddy, mind.) Exag, as in okay pa naman sana if we totally disintegrated, but no, it was more like they were all hanging out, minus me!XP Baka may problema lang talaga sa 'kin nun.XP (yep, blaming meself again.XP) Crud. Imagine, first year high school, at pag recess and lunch lagi akong naiiwang mag-isa sa classroom!XP Man! How LOSER is that??XP

SO. That was the start of my Great Wall of China. From that day forth, super guarded na ako when it comes to relationships. As in I NEVER let my guard down.XP And I always have an uberly healthy dose of skepticism as to whether relationships last. They don't. Really. I'm being realistic.XP I love my present barx to death, but kahit sa kanila I'm still guarded...as in I keep expecting them to find that I'm not such great friend material after all and then just up and leave me.XP (oh crud, how screwed up am I??) And the thing is, okay lang na sila let their guard down sa akin because I won't leave, pero ako hirap na hirap maging unguarded. No, scratch that, I'm NEVER unguarded. (except pehaps when I'm roaring drunk.XD) It's unfair, YAH, I know.

Or baka tinataas ko lang sarili ko and I think I'm better than anyone else and this is just another manifestation of my utter narcissism. Oh, well.XP

WELL. Now I'm in my late adolescent years (gahh! Malapit na akong maging 20!X0 I'm OLD!X0) And oooooooh, I have a significant other now!:o ...whom I love to bits, by the way. But yaaaaaaah, there's still that nagging self-preservation mechanism of mine who is always guarded, ALWAYS...XP I swear, my ID is SCREAMING for love and attention, but at the same time something else is holding me back to safety...XP Might this be intimacy VS isolation??XP Well, at least I'm in the right age bracket, anyway.XD I have to do something about this utterly horrid problem of mine, though, or I'll be STUCK like a RAT in those STICKY YUCKY THINGS forever.X0 But it's HARD!XP

Oh! Now I remember something.

Here now, I finally remember something about my childhood that includes my mum!:D

There was this one time na I almost drowned in a swimming pool, and my mummy's reaction when I was finally hauled out of the pool was that she went raging mad and went on about oooooooh, how I was to blame (because somehow I took in into my head that I could actually swim in the ten-foot-deep part of the pool, hahaha) blah dee blah dee blah.

Oh, and there was this one time na nagkasalisihan kami sa Megamall ('di pa uso cellphone nun, and we got kinda mixed up on where to meet after doing the groceries) and she went into I'm An Irritable Mummy mood again and went on a long rant (still in Megamall, by the way) about if I had done this and I had done that, hadn't done this hadn't done that, hindi magkakaleche-leche buhay namin.XP And the thing is, sobrang insignificant pa nung event, wala pang namatay or anything. As in we were only separated like five to ten minutes, at nag-alburoto na siya.XP

In any case, the thing I most distinctly remember about those incidents was her favorite word: "Sana." Sana ginawa mo to, sana ginawa mo yun. Et cetera et cetera.XP

So I suppose I've been conditioned to take the blame chuvaness. And yeah, nakikita ko 'yan sa sarili ko. I NEVER blame anybody else for anything.XP There's always a way I could have influenced the situation from not turning out the way it did, or so I always tell myself. Kahit na super far-fetched na.XP (or baka I'm just stuck at the Pre-Conventional Stage and I have a healthy helping of egocentrism, is all.X0)

In retrospect, cognitively I KNOW mummy just doesn't admit mistakes, ever. As in she always finds a way to make it baling to someone else. So I guess nasanay na akong maging...err...doormat? Scapegoat? in everything else din actually.XP As in I always act as the sponge for other people's tetchinesses. Para na rin matapos na ang issue.XP

Gahd, I'm so screwed up.XP

Psychoanalyzing at Kenny Roger's.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!X0

A WHOLE ENTRY! I LOST A WHOLE ENTRY!X0 GAAAAAAAAAAH!! ALL MY INSIGHTS!!!X0

........waaaahhhhh........

.....guess I'll have to do it all over again.X0

Mum and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart talk again last Sunday.:o Well, actually, it was more like I made an attempt to psychoanalyze myself and she just happened to be sitting across from me at Kenny Roger's, but there you go.XP

So what DID we talk about? (huhuhu, I'll have to do this all over again, AGAIN.X0)

WELL. For starters, we tackled the issue: Why oh WHY am I so huffy and mad towards my three youngest siblings?XP Which is actually pretty juvenile, THAT's what you're thinking right now, isn't it??

WELL. Turns out there are three main reasons:
1.) Age-old formula for sibling rivalry: I resent them because they take mummy away from me (great, now all I need are a bib and a baby rattle.XP Jeebus.) Good grief, how lame can I GET??XP
2.) They make mummy irritable and huffy CONSTANTLY. AS IN. (and this reason has more loving reasons to it than simply because mummy is INSUFFERABLE when she's in a bitchy mood, which is practically always nowadays.) Oooooooh, the little....er, angels.XP
3.) Our pseudo-quasi-pwede na family funds gets stretched over five, I repeat, five, kids. Think how much better it would be for, say, two?XP

NOW, let's go back to reason #1. Why is this so, do I think?? Hmmm.

Flashback...flashback...let's go back to my earliest childhood memories, shall we?

...scan...

...scan...

...aaaaaaand there is nothing, zip, zilch, nada in my childhood memories which includes mum or dad.XP Sad.

No, really! I even had Inggy to back me up there at Kenny's. When we were superdeeduper little kids all we could remember were lola, lola locking us in the bathroom with the lights closed (and duh, 'di man lang namin naisip na i-on yung ilaw, hellooooo), lolo, lola and lola fighting around the dinner table, lolo giving us soft-boiled eggs, Tita Tata, etc. Hmmm, I seem to have a pretty nice relationship established with my primary caregivers, so that explains why I still view the world in a pretty optimistic way) However, no mum and dad to be seen, hmmm. So, we therefore conclude na I became KSP. KSP sa parents, anyway.XP So ngayon , with mummy lavishing attention on the kiddies (since oo nga naman, bata pa nga naman kasi sila), I guess the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head.XP UGH, so juvenile, I swear.XP Pero weird naman, 'pag ngayon naman pinapansin ako ni mummy, and I mean pansin as in asikaso, ayoko naman!XP As in I feel super uncomfortable and yikkkkk and stuff.o_0 Siguro 'di ako nasanay?:o Or baka nag-defense mechanism ako somewhere in my unconscious na I don't really need care or attention?:o At parang may mindset na akong I don't deserve it?XP Pero siyempre the ever present ID is always clamoring for attention, as in!XP Soooooooo I'm stuck in a rut.XP I'm being pulled in both ways and I'm not moving at all, so I might as well tear myself apart (ooooh, and I might become schizophrenic, then life would be interesting.:D)

Ooooooh, maybe THAT can also explain why I'm so hell-bent to always overachieve!:o I have low self-regard, low self-esteem, low everything in fact, except self-criticism, which is pretty high...anyway, so I feel like I always have to prove myself, I dunno, worthy, or something.XP Gahhh. Yack yack yack.X0

Shopping and Repression don't mix.

I'm SUPPOSED to be doing my psych time line thingy tonight, since I won't have any more time to do it before Wednesday because apparently, my next three days are too uberly loaded to even consider such a trite thing as, oh, sleep, to be included in their general scheme of things.X0 WAHHH. Well, ac-choo-wally, I am sorta kinda doing na my psych project.:D How? Why, by writing this blog, silly!:D What better way to make a time line of my life than to unceremoniously dump all my blog entries into a whole new blog and put spiffy pictures of me in it and call it a project?:D Should I even include this entry?:D Hey, that'd make me self-aware, dunnit?:D

Gahhh, but I swear, psych is one of the better subjects I have this sem.XP It's prolly because psych has memory and learning down pat and actually knows that dumping truckloads of useless info on poor students without even giving them time to encode the information properly so they can file it away into their long-term memory isn't the surest way for to ensure that, well, the students file the info away properly.XP Gaaaaaaaad. Can I just say, *cough*SA*cough??XP Dratty drat.XP

----------

Went shopping na kanina.XP I swear, shopping can be absolute CRUD.XP Yes, shopping in the dream world is heaven and all, but REALLY, once I crashland back into reality, ugh.XP

Oooooooooooooh I absolutely RESENT (this being the politically pleasant-sounding alternative to "DOWNRIGHT HATE RIGHT DOWN TO MY BOWELS") being dirt frickin' (this being the politically pleasant-sounding alternative to the F-word) poor.XP GAAAAAAAAHD. And YES I knooooooooow I am UBERLY grateful I eat three meals a day and get to go to college and all that, you don't HAVE to tell me that right now because I am RANTING and I do not have to have morality shoved up my nose when I am RANTING, GAAAHD.XP

BUT STILL!XP I want SO many THINGS but at the same time I know I won't be able to buy 'em all and I get this disgustingly disgusting feelings of GUILT everytime I buy something (lalo na 'pag parents ang bumili, peste) and so I end up locking up all my desires away so every time some random fat dude in red comes up to me and asks, "Now Falqi, what do you want?" in a voice that could prolly epitomize the word "jolly," I'd most prolly just stare blankly at him and say, "Er." Mind, my brain cells'll be struggling like hell to retrieve those wishlists I have stashed somewhere in those deep dark corners because my brain cells just KNOW those lists were there but somehow they got swallowed up in the shadows and ooooooh we can't for the life of us seem to remember where exactly we repressed them...XP

GAAAAAAAAAAAAHD. I wish my ID was more in control of my life.XP Then I could buy whatever I want and do whatever I want and say whatever I want, ohhhhhhhh joy.XP

The Queen

Got this off SA's blog.:D Hope you don't mind, I'm a sucker for these poems too!XD

The Queen
Pablo Neruda

I have named you queen.
There are taller than you, taller.
There are purer than you, purer.
There are lovelier than you, lovelier.
But you are the queen.

When you go through the streets
No one recognizes you.
No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks
At the carpet of red gold
That you tread as you pass,
The nonexistent carpet.

And when you appear
All the rivers sound
In my body, bells
Shake the sky,
And a hymn fills the world.

Only you and I,
Only you and I, my love,
Listen to me.

----------

Waaaaaaaaaaaah. Would that I could write poetry like that.XP But alas, all my pseudo-quasi artistic chuvaness has flown out the window to be replaced by my semi-pseudo-pwede na skills in disgustingly concrete and numerical things. Bleah. I haven't drawn, colored, written, et cetera et cetera properly since the dawn of time, por dios. I don't want my artistic side to stagnate!XP My right brain is more me than my left brain will ever be.XP (Refresh my memory, why am I in ME again??XP)

Completely Anal.

Can I just crawl into a corner like the buggeriffic little mice back at the apartment??XP Err, no, cancel that, those little mice have apparently just developed spines, only just, see, but they run across wide open spaces in plain sight of ME and in broad frickin' daylight, like helloooooo.

Gahhhhhh. I have SURVIVED another HELL WEEK.X0 Wahhh. Can I just say.X0 Already my brain has decided it doesn't need such useless information as how to sleep and that such inane pieces of knowledge only clutter the gray matter space that can be used to store more important things, like, say, accounting.X0 UGH. So now officially I do not know the basic how-to's of sleep. Sad. (You know, like, 1., open accounting book; 2., focus eyes on first word; 3., hold an internal struggle; 4., pretend to struggle; 5., drop with great flourish off to sleep.) Gahhh. BUT! It is not over, alas, alas.X0 ONE MORE DRATTED WEEK TO GO AND I AM FREE, FREE AS A BIRD!

...well, as free as a bird who is incidentally enrolled in college and by the way did we mention had finals just around the corner right after that dratted week which when finished was supposed to produce infintisimally joyous albeit horrendously erroneous notions of freedom, anyway.XP

gaaaaaaaaaaaad. SUMMER VACATION, come here pleaaaaaaaaase.XP

OH, but a ray of light illumines the dark gray expanse of sky!:o By HOOK or by CROOK I shall go SHOPPING tomorruh!XP (well, later, if you want to get technical.XP) Sure, I'll be shopping for a spanky business attire for our case presentation on wednesday, which means I STILL haven't fled the confines of that harbinger of death (accounting, fyi), but still...shopping is still SHOPPING.XP I haven't bought ANYTHING NEW AT ALL for the last many long eons of my LIFE, gahhhh, it is absolutely DESPAIRFUL.XP

What is that, hey???XP I swear I have what can comfortably called an ANAL FIXATION!XP Gaaaaaaaahd por dios por santo.XP Leaning towards retentive, that is. Sure, I am a disgusting slob and if you see the state my apartment is in you'll prolly throw up all over me (though I'll still end up cleaner than the pad, yep, that's how bad it is), and that's got anal expulsive written all over it in all its shitty glory. Oh, and I have EXTREME TROUBLE with authority figures, I swear to god.XP As in. (On that note, why are guidance counselors so disgustingly syrupy and yet so PLASTIC, I wonder??) BUT!:o I can be disgustingly OC too (when it comes to my absolutely lovely organizer where my schedule is neatly planned out, ooooh how lovely) and GAAAAAAAD bugger if I wasn't the most emotionally constipated creature on the PLANET.XP I SWEAR.

Ahhhh, anal retentive fixation. Such a perfectly neat little label to explain my psychoses.XP I have an EXTREMELY hard time expressing my emotions, I almost NEVER make kwento the swashbuckling events in my highly colorful life (note the sarcasm please), et cetera, et cetera, just continue along these lines and use a little bit of imagination. There you go.XP Anal retentiveness at its best.XP

Should prolly ask mum if I shat profusely or vice-versa when I was but a wee babe.XP

HELL WEEK AGAIN NEXT WEEK. CAN I JUST DIE.XP