It's one of those times. Hello Id.

hello all.Ü I have sunk into miserable torpor last Sunday and yesterday but hurrah, I've bounced back again.:D Good grief, at ako lang nagbibigay sakin ng problema. Well, that's a masochist for you. I seem to revel in wallowing in self-induced (and most prolly imaginary) knives-through-the-sides thingy.XP Well, wouldn't you find being miserable irresistible one time or another?:P

I wrote this down sometime, er, yesterday? The other yesterday?o_0 I forgot.XP

WARNING, this entry was laced with a nice dose of brandy (warms the heart, that.XD) I swear I am so disgusting when I give in to bouts of ridiculous sappiness.XP Le ugh. Now midears, if you lot aren't my true friends and you plan to laugh your heads off once you read this entry I will hunt you down and hang you upside down a tree by your toenails. Now THAT has to hurt.XP

I had another sad dream yesternight. Or just this morning, if you want to be specific about it.XP I've been having quite a few of those running around lately, which isn't very nice, and I would think a bit more than my share ought to be, wouldn't you agree?XP I cried again, in my dream. Been doing a greater quantity of those in my dreams, too. Bleah. If only I could do it in real life, then that would be cathartic, and that would be great. (still haven't done it, though, it's stuck way deep down there somewhere) But unfortunately, the sadder I get, the more I laugh. (o0, baliw ako.XP) Which is why I was laughing like a donkey going hee-haw yesternight, and I hadn't even touched the brandy yet. Hay, life.

In my dream I had an uberload of pimples, which is like the great gong of alarm signalling stress. Oooh, I had better not break out in real life, or I swear I shall throw a fit. Remember this poem? (Well I'm talking to myself here, so clearly I expect only me to remember this poem, tuh)

A tear slid down my cheek today. I blame,
Midear, you. Who, I finally admit,
I love. Oh, damn it all to hell. It hit
Me squarely just last night. I'm not ashamed,
Just...lost. And sad and happy at the same
Time. It's quite curious. I don't really fit
In your life quite that way, but I will sit
Here in the shadows, covering the flame
That keeps my silly heart warm. I want you
To know. But then again, oh, never mind.
If I can't ever have you, that's just fine.
If there is nothing left for me to do
Than love you secretly through all my years,
I'll love you. You don't have to catch my tears.

Now, that is a sonnet.XP Not exactly my best one, but it's spilling over with true emotion, that I can assure you, damn.XP Oh, and I wrote it mga December pa, so you don't go on thinking everyday na, oh, you fell in love again last night??XP Duuuuuuuuude.XP

Now, here's the thing. I don't think I can live like this forever anymore. (yes, forever is a pretty exaggerated term. But so what, I was feeling emo.XP Bugger off.) Loving secretly and from a distance and all that crap. (hoooo, crap daw I said, sinong ipokrita?XP) Uuuuuuuurgh masyadong mabigat sa damdamin. Puso, if you will.XP When I hear someone say, "she's my world" (and means it), I'd probably (prolly!) break down right there in the street. (duuuuuude. I wish I could say I had a bad rush of hormones or something. Ugh, I am SO disgusting I swear.XP) Because that's what I want. Ohh, hopeless romantic crap. Yes, ako ang Bato. Ngunit there is a tiny blob of slush inside too.XP Anyway, back to what I was saying. 'Pag ako nagmahal, hindi basta-basta joke time lang. Unfortunately, para akong nanay ko kung magmahal: completely, selflessly, all that bullcrap that gives you nothing but migraines. (gee, thanks Mom.)And I want to feel that kind of love too. I want, hmmm...a Mark Darcy! (woooooooh, hot.XP) And if you've watched Edge of Reason, you'll know what I mean. And if you haven't, well, sucks to you. So anyway, moving on.

Mahal kita. Yun lamang. Sinasabi ko lang. Kung bakit, hindi ko alam. Pero I'm offering the words without strings, attachments, expectations, etc. Para siyang may nakapalibot na black hole.XP I just wanted you to know.

And, like I always say (well, I do these days anyway), life goes on.

(teka, may PS pa pala 'to...)...I want to be an airhead. You know, the ones making parada-parada and porma-porma with long straight (ironed XP) hair and makeup and miniskirts and everything. I swear they have it so much easier. Then I could have a string of boylets and sleep around and be a drama queen and everything. Happiness.XP

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.....aaaaaand that's where it ends.XP Holy crud, o 'di ba ang drama ko.XP And incidentally, if you do have long straight (ironed) hair and et cetera, well, you aren't necessarily an airhead, aren't you?XP Napapraning lang ako sa entry ko, but still, I'm sure you lot know what airhead is.:D

Dyuuuuuuuusko, I swear I am so horrendously disgusting when I go emo, even I cringe at myself.XP

See, there are these very few instances where my ego loses control over my id, see. I almost never let my emotions show too much, since ego feels that showing emotion overall makes falqi a bit vulnerable.XP So ego is usually able to keep funny old id in check. But sometimes id just breaks loose, like a tidal wave.XP Though when it does, it doesn't break through completely; my ego is already rapidly at work doing damage control.XP Which is why I say blech at myself when I go emotional and I go, oooooh, look at me, I am utterly horrendous when I go senti.XP

Ooooh, so maybe that's why I write poems a lot, hmmm? So my poor little id can have an outlet kahit papaano.XD Poor little id.

Dreams, hah. Hello id again.

Do I have anything at all fantabulous to update?

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WALA!:D But it's the principle of the thing, see. And blogging is so much fun, kahit na wala ka namang ibloblog.XD oooooh, happy happy joy joy.:D

Dapat manunuod kami ng Meet the Fockers kagabi!XP Kaso naubusan na ng jeep papuntang North...kasi ba naman sa 940 kami manunuod...:D BUT! Meron pa naman actually mga jeep, kaso natakam kami sa pisbol at kwekwe kaya ayun, pinalampas na namin yung mga nadaang jeep....HENCE, di kami nakapanood!XP dameeeet...XP Waaaaahh...kelan kaya ako manunuod, hmmmm...Accounting project later! Boo. Accounting project tomorrow! Boo. 'Di pa ko uuwi sa bahay this weekend para, ABA, mag-aral (daw!:D).

I dreamed a dream (malamang lang 'di ba, ano pa ba ang idinidream ng tao??) kanina in the interval of sleep I got between waking up at 7.00 (after which I promptly fell asleep again) til I woke up at 7.30...and gollygosh, it was sad. Hmmmmmm, not actually sad sad, nakapangsasabog lang ng puso...YAK, is this cheesy, you ask?? ABA, kelan ba ko naging cheesy???XP Bleaahhh. Suffice it to say na aba, naiyak nanaman ako...anaknampucha, does this mean my unconscious is becoming a super-dee-duper mush-head?X0 ohhh, grief.XP Can I, like, be unmushy, hah?X0

hahaha, in denial daw ako.XD

Well, when you think about it, sa panaginip lang medyo in control si id, dahil dreams are manifestations of our unconscious nga naman sabi ni good ole' Freud 'di ba??XP Okay fine. Bigyan na natin ng outlet. Wawa naman e, laging represssed.XP

okay, moving on.....Duuuuuude, it's like hell week next week, and I'm all, so what?XP Yaaaaakybadudoodles, I have no pakialam whatsover.XP

Wahoooooo....Friday again...end of the week again...HURRAH...Can you just tell this is a super sabog entry and I don't really have anything to say?XD So what, this is my blog. Belat.XD

Another untitled poem.

Bakit parang biglang napuno ang next two weeks of my life??XP Monday pa lang ah! And my calendar is already as daaaaaaaaaark as night (ooooh, ominous...:D? Drattit drattit drattit...

EEK! Charley Family's Steakhouse thingamajig tomorrow, and I haven't even read the problem yet!X0 And there are filthy, horrible rumors pa naman na may quiz...QUIZ!XO HOWmyGULAY...XP

Ayan, ayan. Idodownload ko na siya. Anytime now.XP

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In the meantime, allow me to grace you with another phlegmwad of "intellectual" output my muddled mind managed to spit out.:D (ahhh, such lovely imagery.:D) There's nothing like lying in the middle of a field with a huge black dome of sky right below you waiting to swallow you up once you fall from earth.:D

..........errrr.........aba, wala pa palang title...XP

Would that I fall down to the sky
If I let go of earth;
To wander into endlessness,
Oh! fills my soul with mirth!

Alas, howbeit, still clings the soil
To flesh and bone skin;
Unfetter, pray, and shrive me of
Unrest, my only sin.

That even as my fingers touch
The blades of grass, prithee,
Allow my restless soul to fall
Into eternity.

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I'll always love rhyme-and-meter poetry. I can never understand the hubbub over freeverse anyway, jeebus, it's too....free.XP Sometimes poetry isn't meant to mean anything at all...sometimes it's meant simply for its sound to flow through the ears like honey. Tralalala.

Female chauvinism is what it is.

Why is it na maraming matatalinong babae, pero konti lang ang mga matatalinong lalaking lalaki? Dude, I'm serious, at 'di madedeny 'to. Wala lang, napag-usapan lang namin ni Yana the other night (and this has been a long-standing conversation ever since many years ago with other people) and duuuuuude, seriously. I mean, it's like half of the smart guys are effeminate and everything. Bat super konti lang ang mga matatalinong tibo, for example?XP CONCLUSION? Intelligence is innately feminine. HAH! I'm so mean and sexist. So what.XP

Whining again. Cathartic, ain't it.

Private-ized my previous previous entry.XP I am back to being the nice person that I am.XP So for those of you lucky enough to have caught a whiff of that particular entry, a round and a half for you. (of applause, not drinks. Although if it were I'll be happy to join.XD) You caught a glimpse of nasty me. But since generally I am uber nice (read: all my nasty thoughts are nicely tucked away) I have nicely tucked away again that errant shirttail, so to speak, because it was dangling out when it should not be seen by anybody.

SO. I AM NGARAG. I shall SO be happy when our report in fricking History is fricking over.XP

Eek, here I go. Another rant coming.

I am SO fed up of this workaday, predictable scheme of things.XP Study to get work, work for the rest of life to live, and on the sidelines try to live for real. Bleah. Crappy crappy crappy. I am BORED BORED BORED. On top of that, I want to get away from all of this!XP I want my own adventure with no rules or expectations!XP I am SO damn sick and tired of school, where I have to maintain my grades GAHHHH for goodness-knows-what, when it's a fact of life that really high grades won't guarantee you'll get filthy rich later on, and HOOOOOOOO holy grande look at all those morons on TV that make a billion a year, grrrrrrrrrr. And WHY OH WHY must I always have this need to prove myself to people?XP I have to constantly maintain my grades or be good at everything and goodness knows what else. WHHHHHYYYYY do I always need to prove to others and to myself that I'm not ordinary, I'm not mediocre, and if I don't constantly strive to be "great" I'll blend into everyone else?? I don't want to fade away.....BLEAAAAAAAARGH I am fed up.XP I suppose if I really wanted to, I could study my ass off like a prime nerd like some people I know who think grades and school are everything, then I suppose I could get ridiculously high grades like A+s and crap, but really, out in the world, who the heck cares?XP

And why am I such a dratted people pleaser? For once I wish I could be a really bitchy bitch and say what I want and do what I want but noooooo, my conscience is firmly stuck to my behind.XP Is it even conscience??XP ...No, it's still my ego, preventing me from putting dents in relationships that should be kept alive and well because they're most useful to me that way.XP WHYYYYYYY do I always try to be disgustingly tactful and considerate and crud?XP AAAAAAAARGGGGHHHH.

BORED BORED BORED BORED. I am currently walking/floating/shuffling/loafing along through life as one in a dream. Para akong isang malaking bangag. Gaaaaaaaaah boring boring boring.

AND YES, I have the luxury to be bored in life dahil I am one of the fortunate people who gets to eat three times a day ang gets to study and crap.XP MAN, do I have to qualify myself even when I'm ranting? WHY should I care what other people think? AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH.

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As you can see, I am going through one of those low phases in life where you suddenly get hit with the all-encompassing question: WHY?

And when you can't answer it satisfactorily, this is the result, I am afraid. A whiny bitch.XP

A dash of narcissism and a pinch of...well, narcissism again.XP

It is the first day of classes and IT SUCKS.XP Bleah. 'Nuff said.

Um, about my previous entry, could you take note of the following guidelines for reading please...

GUIDELINES FOR READING MY PREVIOUS ENTRY

1. Read.

2. Say, "ooooooh."

3. Go about your merry lives and fuggedaboutit for the love of heaven.XP So sue me, I find it infintisimally uncomfortable even acknowledging IT out in the open. So let's keep it shady. Ariiiiiiiiight. Be cool.XP (so why did I even put it here?? Ahhh, wala lang. FYI lang. I'll private-ize the entry soon enough. A moment of weakness, see.) So I'm screwed up, getting worked up over nothing. But duuuuuuude I so hate reducing the real thing to gossip and chika-ness. Somehow that peculiar feeling of serenity late at night (which is probably nothing more than those annoying endorphins, but still) becomes lost in the banality of it all. (That's why I didn't tell it people in the first place, dammeet. But alas, I have my weak days.XP And so dudes make me second-guess myself, AGAIN, for the nth time, which I've been doing so frequently for the past oh-so months that I can do it asleep, and I DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.XP)

So. Just to make things clear, YES I may not actually know anything about, yikk, love and shit (but if I really do as in yung developed and everything na, it'll probably be more real than what half the young population thinks they're feeling, I mean, honestly. Jumping in and out of relationships and everything, oozing with melodrama over this and that, mother of god, it's absolutely ANNOYING. I only know siguro a handful of people who really know love.XP Dude, I'm intelligent enough to know THAT. And YES, that is my narcissism for you.) and YES, I may be young and everything and in the distant future I'll meet many more people and fall in love again prolly, and YES, this and that and blah dee blah. But good lord almighty, this is as true as I can humanly squeeze from myself.

I don't even know why I have to explain myself to people. I SO hate explaining. As if people would care anyway. (maybe I just want to get it out of my system...?)

So. THAT's done.XP

BOREDOM IS THE WORD FOR THE DAY.

Boredom, one of my greatest fears. Right up there with obscurity, mediocrity, and mumus (yes, as in multo.XP ukkk.). Together, they form the word MMOB. or BOMM. Or OMMB. Or MOMB.

Yayayayayay Ocean's Twelve is coming out tomorrow! Minor setback: no money. No problem! Yayain si inay!XD Tamang tama, she's been harping on on how arte I am when it comes to asking for money. In short, I don't ask.XP EHHHHHHHHH AYAW KO E.XP

Gaaaaaaaaad I am HUNGRY. Pero nilulubos ko ang oras ko dito sa cafe because it has a SERIOUSLY WEIRD pricing system, a buck a minute for the first 30 minutes, then from 30 minutes to an hour you still pay 30 bucks. DOOOOOODE like that is WAY WEIRD.XP

More resolutions and confessions

thought up of more new year's resolutions, hurrah. Where was I? 7?

MORE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

7. shed my skinny appendages and sprout all-new beefy ones that are waaaay cool.XD to do this, we move on to

8. which is do all my exercises religiously. And train religiously. But training is a whole new banana, which is

9. umusbong bilang arnisador, not only in the sport but in the art, which is to say not only master the body but master the heart/spirit/you get my point. I'm not feeling very ooooh wordy right now.XD

10. strain and manhandle myself to buy new books so I can expand my intellectual horizons, which are unfortunately collapsing in on themselves when exposed to rutty subjects like History and SA, which man oh man should have been the coolest subjects ever.XP

I HAVE A CONFESSION

....because really and golly gee, I needn't be so chipper and light all the time in my blog, right?XP Lately I find myself more and more utterly repressed in terms of expressing my true emotions, which is absolutely rutty. (<--new word for the day, coined it meself.XD)

SO. I must confess......

may mahal ako.

(o0 erica, isa akong masamang kaibigan, hindi ako nagkukuwento.XP ilang beses ko nang inisip na ibroach yung topic kina dappy, kaso, ahhhhh....SHY AKO.XD HAHAHAHA. may mga ibang nakakaalam na though, because whaddya know, I tell it randomly to random people!XD hahaha. PLEASE sana avoid niyo the asar asaran and the tilian and the yiheean, which is the part I absolutely hate and is the primary reason I don't tell it, and really, I didn't want to tell you guys until I was super sure. At lahat pa kayo sawi at the time, so parang panira ng mood. Haha excuses. Hanggang ngayon I still feel queer about it, cuz it's a whole new banana, pero siguro mga 92.345% yes na ko.XD)

but dooooooodes. After 19 bloody years, waw.XD

So how do I know? Baka crush lang 'to falqi, shet. But one thing to know about falqi is that she gets crushes (the serious kind, I mean, and not the Tom Cruise kind) once in a million eons, and somehow I think this ain't no crush no more. I don't really know know, not really. But if you think about it too hard (which I sometimes do), you'll miss the whole point...because somehow you just know. Or feel. Whichever it is. Hah, may mechanism lang talaga kasi ang aking annoyingly rational mind.XP

Kelan ko nalaman? Hmmmm I don't really know. It's like walking along a corridor painted red that's slowly blending into pink, and somewhere down the road you're gonna say, o, white na pala yung walls?o_0 crappy imagery, but that's the best I can do for now.XP

And unlike dati in, um, a whole other banana I had a very hard time even accepting the fact na maybe kinda sorta I liiiiiiiiike him maaaaaaybe you know, but then again maybe nooooooooot, ngayon it's just like this: Mahal ko siya. Simple as that. Siguro dati weird lang ako.XD Ahh dati I thought of it as a weakness, and I sure as hell wasn't going to admit I was weak. But now wala lang.

Pestilence nga, ang laking peste sa buhay nitong pagmamahal na 'to ha!XP Masakeeeeeet sa dibdib, and you know my inner emotions usually manifest themselves in literal chest pains that leave me hospitalized and when all the bloody expensive tests are done they show I'm in perfect health. Shitshitshit.) Napapahagulgol pa ko, AND I DON'T FRICKIN' CRY. Not over these kinds of things anyway.XP My sister laughed at me. Prolly thought, hah, binalikan ka rin.XP Humpf.

So why do I love him? Ewan. (how romantic, that I am.XP) Because he is who he is, and that's it.XP And it's actually nice to just love freely, wholly, secretly, distantly without expecting anything, ('di nga raw ako magkakaboyfriend 'di ba humpf, but that's okay since that doesn't necessarily have to be the goal) since it's an absolute seeeeeeeecret and nobody has to know I love him at all. (puwera na lang kung napaka-obvious ko pala shet, magpakamatay na lang kaya ako.XD) YES IT HAS ITS ABSOLUTELY SUCKY MOMENTS, but hey, that's life. And I'm me, I'm afraid. And that's how I love. Learned it from me mum, methinks. As she puts it, 'di na iniisip sarili. Handang idrop ang lahat and all that shit. DUUUUUUUDE, can you believe I'm saying this?? Like, doooooooode, it's me talking here.XP

(erica, yes I can feel that I owe you all a veeeeeery long kwento, BUT I will make it a ransom and say kelangan nating lumabas ulet! Hahaha. Not like the once every six months lakad na ginagawa natin, because that is so sad.XP)

Wouldn't it be too nutty if wala palang nagbasa ng entry na ito?XD Hahaha. But I don't mind, as long as I finally got it in the open. It's like bloodletting: sometimes you just have to let the blood out.XP Cool, now I think I'm going to start writing a poem about bloodletting.XD That's the funny thing about love, ain't it? You have to shout it out to the whole wide world at one point or another. Because really, you can't keep ALL that feeling in. (YES, love is not a feeling according to psych, I knooooooooow.)

Unless you are a Final Fantasy Bomb Monster, in which case could I ask you when on earth is that gorgeous specimen of digital manflesh Cloud finally coming on DVD???XP

Shopping. And the epic Battle Between Ego and Id.

Waw, nine and a half hours to go and counting.XP still haven't blinked at that paper.XP (what paper? I might go, sotto voce. <--ooh, finally learned what this meant.XD)

SHYAPPING

Went shopping with sissy today. (instead of making a valiant attempt at that paper, I knoooooow.XP) And we were walking and I was looking every which way, this and that, shoes and clothes and stuff (which I all normally adore, oooooh stuffXD), but strangely, I felt no desire whatsover.XP Inggy even asked me, "Iz! Don't you want aaaaaaanything?" And I go, "um, no." "Really?" "um, yah." "Look, shoes! Don't you want shoes?" "um, no." That's sad. Sad.:c I'm stuck in a rut.XP

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Jumping to another closely related topic, our conversation leads to this:

Inggy: Izzy. You'll never have a boyfriend.
Izzy: (properly indignant expulsion of breath) WHAT? Hu-why?
Inggy: Pag tatanungin ka, 'o, anong gusto mo?' 'Wala.' 'Gusto mo ba kumain dito?' '(indeterminate mumble) ahhhhuuummmmsure.' Doooode. Mashado kang low maintenance kasi.
Izzy: Of course I am. That's cool.
Inggy: Ummm no, para kang yaya.
Izzy: (disgruntled look) Ba, I'm a guy's dream! Walang kelangan gawin!XP
Inggy: Ummm no, guys have to take care of something. Ego and all that.
Izzy: Oooooohkaaaay.o_0

I therefore conclude: I shall become a nun.XP And I'm not even Christian.XP

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MY SISTER IS PSYCHIC! Sharing lang.XD

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Yes, STILL no word on that history paper. MAN, that paper's really bugging me. I've half a mind to throw it dramatically out of my window. (which I would if it actually existed.)

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(now I must be veeeeeery vague.) Huwhyyyyyyy isn't there somebody out there who is like *toooooot* who kanina bought *tooooooot* for *tooooooot* even though *tooooooot* and it costed like *tooooooot* and wow, they're not even *toooooot*...for meeeeh? (um, got that?o_0) Envious, that I am.

Now, did I just contradict myself with my earlier passage? Yes I did, I suppose.XD But not really, too. Waw, I'm so labo.XD Honestly, I don't really feel like a round of soul-searching.XP A round of tequila, now THAT would brighten up my boring day. (don't mind me, I've been tequila-depraved since me mum stole the tequila at home so she can glug it herself, evil mum.XP)

I'm a big contradiction, is all. I'm disgustingly pragmatic but an equally disgusting closet romantic. I'm horribly independent but only because...errr...I dunno, childhood trauma?o_0 Since I'm independent I don't expect anything from anyone, but when I do I expect too much and I end up back in the not-expecting-anything part again. Oooooh, I suck.XP (or, as kally puts it, I sock.XD HARHAR.) I'm black but white. (HA! That was a joke.XD Dumb joke, yes, but a joke nonetheless.LAUGH.)

One of these days I'm gonna share with you, my avid readers (HAR!XD), one of the yucky sentimental poems I wrote when I was at a, hyuk, low point of my young life (or, to put it another way, a really high point of my closethood). Yikk. Yes, I say yikk, but really, I'm not dissing it. I'm cool.XD BUT, my laptop is as I've said rather dim lately, so I can't really see my poem right now.XD It's literally DIM.o_0

New Year's Resolutions.

oy, what's the update on that...whatsit...history paper blahdeeblah I was supposed to make?? (yes, I'm asking myself.XP) True to my nature, haven't even blinked at it yet.XP HAR. It's needed tomorrow na and I am absolutely sure-as-hell UNmotivated to even open MS Word.XP Life. Shitshitshit. Ohwell. Pretty sure my juices will suddenly crank up at the last minute, say, three in the morning tomorrow.XD The last time I had to write a paper (for Fil14, ooooh and I don't know how to write properly anymore) I wrote it like four hours before the deadline.XP Hope it turns in a B at least.XP A B means you got an accidental insight squeezed in somewhere among the dredges of your so-called paper. HAR.

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Two more days of boring freedom to go. Yuck. Then school. Yuck. Yuckyuckyuck.XP I am SO pathetically boooooooooohred. It's absolutamentally BOH-RING at school. Ukk.XP I want ADVENTURE! ADVENTURE! ADVENTURE!XP Where do you find adventure in this stale little life, I wonder.XP Must get absolutely filthy RICH. Can't do nothing without money, wonderful money.XP Then I can go rappelling, wall-climbing, bunjee jumping and shit any damn day I want, learn the violin and the harp, buy meself an oodley prettyful harp which will stand wonderfully in my hall underneath my astrodome that will top my splendid palace in the sky which will span a mile in diameter just like Isengard, which will have a disturbingly big whatever-you-call-that-place-where-you-do-wood-and-metal-craft, a home theater with a complete collection of DVDs and video games, et cetera et cetera, and did I mention my palace in the sky can fly so I can go all around the world and back and visit all the historical sites I can dig up, and ooooooh it can go to outerspace too and warp and everything so I can discover whole new galaxies, and my fantastic dreams go on and on, but my point is I will have ridiculous sums of money which will be my very own so I can spend them without feeling disgustingly guilty about spending because we are poor.XP

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SO. Back to that history whatsit.XP

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...and that's as far as my devotion to completing my schoolwork goes.XP Hmmmm. Did I make my New Year's Resolutions yet??o_0 oooooooh, I haven't yet!XD Now is the perfect time!XD

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR THE GOOD PART OF 2005

1. can't think of a single damn thing I want.

Hmmmmmm. I may have stuffed all my desires away too deeply.XP See, due to the fact that we're pretty much breaking even (income = expenses) most of the time (cuz sometimes we're poor and on occasion money rains down from heaven, only to be sucked up by outstanding expenses) I can therefore conclude that, aside from the occasional oreo and strawberry doughnut, I won't be able to buy anything that's of significant cost and which I actually like this year, unless some magnanimous gorgeous rich guy comes along and suddenly decides to spend all his moolah on little moi. Which isn't happening anytime soon.XP

SO. Let's try this again.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

1. A-HA! I've thought of one! Never come into contact with--and for heaven's sake, don't even think about owning--any expensive paraphernalia, which includes, among others, digital cameras, sapphire rings, and watches, all of which I have the unfortunate penchant of losing.XP And if I do by any chance acquire said materials, pray I self-destruct in five minutes.

2. (with my sister poking me in the back) Borrow daw everyone's CDs.XP (what's up with that?XP)

3. Maintain the scholarship...and the DL daw, ukk(hmf, but after THAT spectacle with the parents about my undignified C+ in Math, HAH!XP I've half a mind to lose DLdom.)

4. ...drat, I really can't think of any material thing I want.XP

5. Well, the eternal one which I always have, which is to discover the meaning of life, have a purpose, et cetera et cetera.

Wow, this entry is LONG. Long for me, anyway. And beginning to cross the threshold into long-winded and boring, I hope not.XP So I'm ending it. (I'll prolly put in a few more p.s. entries in about five minutes, anyway.XD)